Merging

As 2009 arrived, the question of home became a topic to explore. The economy was hitting my parents hard. They still had their property in Westminster, and struggling to continue making regular payments on the house in Irvine. The worst possible outcome would be for them to lose their house in Irvine, and probably move back into their home in Westminster or downsize to a smaller home or apartment. As for our family, we were looking into finding low-income apartments. Still, with both of us working, even a 2 bedroom apartment was out of our range of affordability. Our ONLY option was to rent an apartment with another party. So, we proposed the idea of living together with my brother-in-law, and we all looked at the positives this merge would bring.

In the summer of 2009, our little family not only grew by the birth of our third daughter, but we also took in my brother-in-law and niece to live with us. The idea was born with the intention to help my niece find success in school--more structured environment--while giving my brother-in-law support in raising her while working and going to school. We looked at several apartment communities in Irvine, knowing that the school district is very well known for student success and accelerated curriculum. In the end, we ended up staying at my parents' house and expanding the number of our household from 7 to 9! Yes, 9 people fit in a 5 bedroom house. That solved their financial concerns, and opened up a new chapter in our lives living in Irvine.

We definitely all felt the changes this living situation brought on. Since I am only working part time, I was mainly responsible for the care, discipline, and educational support for my niece. I knew that it was going to be a big responsibility for me to take on, but did not see how much it was going to consume my life. It was like having another daughter, but with there were areas in her life that I could not address or change since she was not one of my own. On her end, it was just as difficult being under the care of a mother figure, but not having the same privilleges as a daughter would. It was a difficult beginning and a heartbreaking end. We all learned some very important lessons, and unfortunately felt some pain that comes in all real relationships.