Feeling Hesitant

Since September, Robert and I have been itching for me to get back to work. My options aren't that many, especially since we have to put the cost of childcare in the equation. So, whatever job I get has to cover that expense and still have leftover for me to put in the bank.

I got another email on Sunday from my friend saying that, this time, the company she is working for is now hiring. I sent an email to her boss that night, and got a request for my resume the next morning. Things proceeded quickly. By noon, I had a date and time for an interview, which was today, at 12:30 pm.

Well, the interview went well. I hope they heard a lot of good things from me, because I am extremely excited by all the wonderful things I heard from them. I have worked with children with Autism for 7 years, and this opportunity would give me the chance to work with the age group I've always dreamed of working with, 3 and under. I will hear back from them tomorrow, and I am praying that this opportunity will be a good match.

At the same time, I look at my two girls and feel hesitant to go back to being a working mom. It was hard going back when Savannah was 4 months old. I had days when I felt like crying as I drove away from the house, and the only thing that would hold me together was browsing through pictures of Savannah on my phone or in my album of wallet-sized photos. Savannah still cries when I leave without her. How much more will my heart ache at the sight of her and Gaby's faces, streaked with tears?

So, I am anxiously waiting for tomorrow, to answer the call that will set change in motion...