Most children cannot wait until they are 18 so they can "leave the nest" and make a place of their own out in our great big world. I lived with my parents until I was 26, the year Robert and I got married. We enjoyed living on our own, in our own apartment (first in Anaheim, then in Las Flores) for three years. It was great having our privacy and freedom to do whatever we liked.
It was during one of our model home tours excursions that we started toying with the idea of living in the same house with my parents. We would all have to find a house big enough for five people--my brother, Carlo, was still living with my parents at the time. Robert and I were both drowning in work and school, and the thought of living with my parents seemed like the best idea, especially when it came to saving money from eating more at home versus eating out. We also wanted to save money by having to pay less in our contribution to the household versus having to pay rent close to $1,500 - $1,800!
My parents jumped on board and in July 2004, they found a house in Irvine that was the perfect size for all of us. We were all moved in by August, and started enjoying the benefits of being in a combined household. My mom took care of the cooking, so Robert and I were free to focus more on school and still enjoyed having home-cooked meals. Our situation became even more convenient, and even necessary, as our own little family grew from 2 to 3, and then 3 to 4.
My mom was an angel sent from above during my first year of motherhood. Robert started a second job before I went into maternity leave and continued on until I was ready to go back to work. He was working his regular 8-5 job, then coming home to eat dinner and sleep for a couple of hours before going to work from 10-6. He really did not have a lot of time to sleep. On top of this, he was attempting to keep up with school. My mom also picked up a night shift tending to Savannah so that I could get some sleep at night.
My mom also became a part time nanny when I went back to work. Savannah enjoyed Lola's daycare! They sang and danced all day long! She learned a lot from Lola. Gaby is now enjoying her time in Lola's daycare. They are always singing and listening to music, and cooking up yummy food in the play kitchen.
Savannah and Gaby enjoy having so many people surrounding them, and knowing that they are so well loved and cared for. They can always count on Lola and Lolo to take care of them, and give them love and attention.
We are going on our 4th year of being a combined household. My cousin asked me the other week how long Robert and I plan to stay in this situation. Hmmm...Sometimes I really long for that day Robert and I have our own house. It is not always easy living in the same house with my mom and dad. We clash and disagree. We hurt each other's feelings. We get irritated with each other. Tempers rise. Tension grows. And, YES, sometimes we all explode!
This evening we met, for the second time, to discuss household finances. Robert and I had talked over some of the issues that my parents brought up in our first meeting and wanted to share some of our ideas, and also ask a few questions to help clarify some areas. At most, I thought 30 minutes would be enough. Almost 3 hours later, we concluded our meeting. It was a pretty good meeting, and we were close to finishing up until a misunderstanding took place. Robert excused himself abrubtly after my mom finished talking about an issue that needed to be addressed. His actions were misunderstand by both my parents, which added the 2 1/2 hours to our 30 minute meeting.
Our voice volumes went up. We argued back and forth about Robert's response, and the way my dad raised his voice. It took a while for this first issue to be resolved, but then another issue came up that was also a misunderstanding. By this point, I was shaking from the uneasiness and nervousness of confrontation. I could see that Robert was also a bit shaken. All details aside, my main reason for sharing all this is to say that I feel truly blessed being in this family. My husband and my children are my family now, but my parents are still an extension that is firmly attached.
As my dad shared from his heart how Robert and I, and Savannah and Gaby, are always a part of their plans, we also shared that we too cannot picture our home life without them. It was heartwarming to hear Robert share that his intentions in going back to school, getting a degree, and hopefully securing a better job in the future includes the idea that my parents will be taken care of in their old age, by us and not a nursing home.
I do not like big confrontations, and emotional explosions. Still, so much good comes from such times. It is good to have everything out in the open, and even though we may all temporarily feel hurt, disrespected, annoyed, and angry, we leave the situation better informed and on our way to healing and strengthening our family bond.
I am not ashamed to say that I am 32...married...with kids...and still living with Mom and Dad. If God continues to bless us in this living situation, we will be with them throughout all their days. We don't say it enough, but WE LOVE YOU, MOM AND DAD!